My husband and I recently got a 6 month Mini Dachshund who is scared and shy of people. We got her from a family that had rescued her from the pound, but found they didn't have the time to help her with her issues after a month. They told us another family had her for 4 days before taking her back to the pound. Beyond that, we are not sure of her past and what happened to her. By the first night, she was already following me around but remained fearful if approached directly. It has been about a week and she has no signs of fear around me at all. She will come when I call her, play, she gives constant kisses and jumps up on my leg, wags her tail, etc. but it is only when it is just her and me. If my husband comes into the room she runs away. The last couple of days she has even started growling and barking at him when he comes home from work, or gets out of bed in the morning. She also has barked/growled at random people when I've taken her on walks. My husband talks to her in a positive, happy voice and tries to offer her treats and affection, but the only time she'll let him pet her is if I am holding her, and even then she freezes with her ears down. I keep telling him to ignore her and not to reach out towards her but let her come to him but that seems to be too hard for him, especially when he saw how quickly she took to me. He is concerned that she has now started barking and growling at him when he has only tried showing her kindness, and he is worried she will bite him. I'm not sure how to correct that kind of behavior, I do not want her to become agressive towards everyone else. I'm not even sure if she is growling out of fear for herself or if she is getting protective of me? It makes me sad, no one else can see her cute and sweet personality.
You are absolutely correct in asking your husband to ignore her. She will eventually come around, when she's ready. She may have had a lot of bad interactions with people, maybe men. The more he tries the more she backs off and becomes frightened. Her growling and barking is more from anxiety. When she does that YOU need to correct her. Tell her "NO" with a stern voice and a sharp tap on the shoulder. I suggest you get a book and/or DVDs by Cesar Millan "The Dog Whisperer". He has many good training tips. The poor little thing is only six months old and has been in several homes. She's very confused and scared. Be patient, but firm and she'll come around.
She's lucky to get a second chance at life with such a caring owner. I know it can be frustrating for your husband to give her the time she needs, but it will pay off in the end. To help her bond with your husband, he will need to back off a little bit. I'm going to give you some tips, but I'd suggest seeking the help of a qualified behaviorist who ONLY uses positive reinforcement methods. This poor dog is scared and we need to build her confidence. I would suggest that more of the "fun" things happen with your husband present, if possible. For instance, he could fix her dinner and set the bowl down, he could take her for walks (if she will do that), he could play fetch with her in the backyard, etc. Those type of things shouldn't be as "confrontational" to her (like petting might be) and hopefully she would enjoy them. If necessary, you could start out being with them, but eventually leave them alone together. If you are coddling her or reassuring her WHILE she's growling at him, she might misinterpret that. If she is in your lap or on the bed with you when it starts, just calmly put her down and ignore her. You want to make sure she doesn't think you approve of that. Scolding her for growling can backfire though. Growling is her way of saying she is uncomfortable with something. If you punish the growl, it doesn't make her more comfortable with the situation, it just removes the warning system and then she may bite "out of the blue". You could also have your husband toss her yummy treats (like chicken) and gradually toss those closer to him until she's willing to come up to him to take the treats. Don't go too fast with that though. If you go slow enough, you should see her approaching him confidently to take food at the end, not hesitantly and quickly running away. Also, his body language can help or hinder the efforts. To appear the least threatening, he should be sideways to her, not staring at her, and crouched down. When humans are trying to be "friendly" they display very confrontational, rude body language as far as dogs are concerned. Once a dog trusts you (or people in general), they tend to let us get away with the "rude" body language. Until she learns to trust him, he'll need to adjust his body language to speed things up. If you are someone who likes a visual example, there was a good episode of "It's Me or the Dog" (with Victoria Stillwell) where the small dog (poodle maybe?) liked the women in the household, but not the men. She showed some of the suggestions I mentioned above. Maybe you can find it online...
As for barking at others on a walk, some basic obedience will help with that (like "watch me" or "leave it") and using treats to reward her for being good and quiet. A group class with a trainer (who uses positive reinforcement) could help with that as well. Again, a good behaviorist or trainer could help you out. Also, you could do some reading on Classical Conditioning and Desensitization (associating good things with your husband's presence) and dog body language (to help you read her cues before she gets to the growling or barking). Good luck and be patient.
Debbie McKnight, CPDT
Accredited PetSmart Trainer