Balloon Kitten a Hoax!

October 18, 2009 -

Weekly World Mews Breaking Story-Western Mew York
In a brazen CopyKat attempt to monopolize on the ongoing Balloon Boy Saga that is capturing headlines around the world
this week, a media hungry Siamese Kat contacted the Weekly World Mews to report that his two month old kitten
Stubby Marie had just floated out the bathroom window in an experimental "No PeeYew" battery operated litter box, and
was last seen gaining altitude and soaring above the treetops in the small village of Wheelsvile, Mew York.
He stated that he had been alerted to the tragedy by the frantic mewing of Stubby Marie, but by the time he got to
the bathroom, the kitty litter box, designated as the "NPY-1" by its creator Julius Meezer (Stubby's father), had already
sailed over the head of Slash, the backyard dog and was headed for the ionosphere. The "NPY-1" allegedly utilizes a battery
operated induction style overhead fan driven ventilation system in a closed compartment "PrivacyPlus" litter containment
system with motion sensor self actuating in/out kitty doors. Julius Meezer has stated that the experimental comfort station
was still in development stage and that all kittens had been warned against the usage of the "NPY-1" until the automatic
fan speed adjustment was installed and a glitch in the door sensor panel was worked out. Meezer theorizes that Stubby
Marie must have gotten stuck in the box when the door wouldn't open, and that lift from the muffin fan caused the comfort
station to rise from its corner in the bathroom and fly out the open window. Weekly World Mews staff immediately
contacted Slash, the backyard dog for confirmation of his claim and he denied that the event ever occurred, and that he
would know because he has been on constant duty at his station for the last 4 years, and nothing gets past him, certainly
not a flying kat box. He stated that he believes that the Siamese kat was perpetrating a hoax or publicity stunt in an
attempt to gain notoriety. Slash, the backyard dog also related that Julius Meezer aka, The Empurror of Mew York will do
anything to get attention, and believes it has something to do with his past history of Catnip abuse and the 15 minutes of
fame he received in a recent Weekly World Mews front page story exposing the infamous Rat Boy.
A WWM staffer returned the call to Mr. Meezer today and informed him that we had just spoken to Slash, the backyard dog
and that he had vehemently denied that the incident had taken place. Our reporter pressed him for the truth on the matter
of the kitten flight, the existence of the "NPY-1" and his past history of catnip abuse, as alleged by Slash, the backyard dog.
After the question there was a brief pause on his end of the phone line, the sound of claws scratching on furniture and Julius
Meezer replied in a rather huffy tone, "Never Mind" and hung up on the reporter. Weekly World Mews commends Slash, the
backyard dog and our fact checking staff for preventing what could have become a time consuming and costly waste of
emergency resources and emotions by rescue personnel on a vital mission to save a kitten that didn't even lose a mitten,
much less fly out the window in a nonexistent kitty box. Shame on you Julius Meezer!