Boy Meets Girl, Girl Meets Dog, Parrot...Snake

July 22, 2009 -

If two dogs are easier than one and three dogs equal anarchy, what will life with three dogs, one cat, a bilingual parrot and a snake mean for me? That’s the unfamiliar, sometimes scary question I find myself pondering as I prepare to get married. Yes, fellow brides to be, you may be laboring over white or cream, where to seat Granny Anne and which h’ors doeurves to serve (and I’m doing my fair share of that too), but I also spend a great deal of time wondering how to cram a newly-expanded menagerie into one house. And still leave some room for fosters along the way.

Will my husband to be somehow, on weekends, transform himself into Super-suburban-man able to walk multiple dogs and a cat in a single bound, bird perched on his shoulder for the ride, snake gently gliding through the grass behind them? That’s just silly. But compiling that wonder is the fact that most people have the idea that more than three or four pets is a sign that a childless couple is about to slip over the edge into something dark and sinister, something most likely involving those images of feline-filled homes we’ve all seen on TV.

“At least all our pets along” my future husband and I reassure each other when space gets tight. And it’s true. Franklin, my fiance’s 13-year-old Chow fits right in with Ollie, Honey Pie and Lou. This once notorious loner and backyard lurker can now often be found rubbing snouts with the rest of the pack at a variety of dog parks—not to mention in the comfortably climate-controlled living room…and guest room…and bedroom.

The parrot, our parrot, Eggbert, greets the dogs when they enter a room with a friendly “Oh, hello!” which they promptly ignore. Yet still, Eggbert barks when they bark, laughs at their antics and engages with them in full-scale enjoyment of the occasional table scrap that may “fall” their way.

And then there’s the snake. Oh, Minty. Truth be told, he and I are still working out our relationship. But like they say: Love me, love my pets. Even the slithering variety. And I’m not forlorn about any of it, because I’ve have come up with a solution – a bigger house.